


Davenzi Podcast

by Somethingaboutit



Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: Boys In Love, Cute boyfriend, Established Relationship, Fluff, Future Fic, Its actually pretty popular, M/M, Matteo and David have a podcast, Matteo and David smoke cigarettes and David lets Matteo smoke weed, Mentions of David’s top surgery, Smut, Strong Language, They don’t make YouTube videos except for the podcast, They speak English during the podcasts, They talk about different topics, not all the time though, they live together
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-06-03 04:49:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19456696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Somethingaboutit/pseuds/Somethingaboutit
Summary: Matteo and David have a podcast where they talk about a lot of things. Their friends also make appearances a lot of the times.





	1. Trisha Paytas

“Hi, come in” David says, not believing that Trisha Paytas is in his and Matteos apartment right now. “Thanks for inviting me!” She cheers, dressed very provocatively for someone in Germany during the winter. “Uh Matteo is just setting up the room and everything so we can go in there” He continues, leading the blonde to the filming room. 

“Was zum fuck” Matteo laughs, walking over to Trisha to give her a hug. “Hi, thanks for inviting me” she repeats, same clueless smile on her face. They get everything set up, and begin the show. Matteo and David sat across from each other, Trisha next to David. 

“Hello everybody, today we have a special visitor...Trisha Paytas” Matteo announces, David pressing the applause sound affect. “Thanks for having me!” She smiles, they have some basic conversation before Matteo drops the bomb. “So, you recently came out as transgender?” He laughs, David joining in as well. “Yes, I did. I am a trans gay man” She response, Matteo looking at his boyfriend with wide eyes. 

“Well Trisha, I can tell you that factually you’re not trans” David blurts, Trisha immediately questioning. “And how would you know?” She asks, “Because I’m trans, I’ve been on hormones for nearly four years now and four months ago had top surgery. I switched schools because I was bullied for being trans, fuck it took Matteo and I at least two months to be able to fuck with the lights on!” 


	2. Podcast: Tumblr; English Edition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matteo and David talk about Tumblr with David’s cousin from America, while speaking English the entire podcast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These are real posts on tumblr, no cap.

“I love America, I’m proud to be American. Hi, I’m Andrea. I’m David’s cousin who’s parents moved from Germany, then Poland, and finally deciding to say ‘Fuck it’ and move to St. Louis, Missouri. Welcome to the Davenzi Podcast, today’s topic is Tumblr” Andrea says, having a slight accent in her voice. Matteo and David clapping for her introduction. Matteo thinks she’s the coolest fucking sixteen year old he’s met. She knows enough German to get her by if she ever chose to live there, but speaks Polish at home. David is very protective of her, treating her like his baby sister. 

“Feel free to like my Instagram [post](https://pin.it/f3odyfgxqc6fox), I’m wearing the same outfit I am now. Except I decided to cop this kid Jacobs look from summer school,” She says, taking off her headphones, standing up and pulling her pants down past her ass, showing a pair of boxers she had on. “He dressed like this everyday, and had on like five pairs of pants” She explained as she pulled her pants back up and settled down again. “Are you serious?” David laughs out, “Ja, no cap as the teens say” She jokes, pointing her fingers at the camera. “I love her, baby” Matteo says, David agreeing with his boyfriends statement. “Dziękuję, danke and Thank you” Andrea says, smiling wide. 

“Okay, Dea what have prepared for us from tumblr?” Matteo asks, taking a sip of his beer. “Some posts about feminism, and some other quote on quote controversial shit” She explains, pulling out her phone to find the screenshots of the posts she took. “I’m ready” David states, “Let’s get controversial, wait” Matteo says making everyone laugh. “Actually, you’re a white male so you’re already racist, homophobic, and transphobic. Oh, and a rapist” Andrea jokes, “Don’t expose me!” The blonde says, dramatically. 

“So, first post; Unpopular opinion: being a stay at home wife and focusing on motherhood makes you just as successful as being CEO” Andrea reads, Matteo already pissed off by the words coming out of her mouth. He takes another sip of his beer, lights a cigarette, then takes a deep breath. “Bullshit. Absolute bullshit” He states, Andrea hitting her Boulder, saying “Go off”. “You think that staying home and cleaning, cooking and helping your fucking kid take a shit is the same as working your ass off and becoming a CE-fucking-O? No, you’re not. Sorry to burst your bubble, but you’re not even nearly as successful as the CEO” He continues, David loves seeing Matteo like this. He never really gets the chance to see Matteo state his opinion so passionately because they genuinely have the same views and don’t really go too deep into certain topics. 

“Exactly, my mom was a stay at home mom who worked from home with a pediatric office. When I was around eight or nine, she went to nursing school. She has her BSN and Nursing Degree, now she’s a cardiac ICU nurse working with people who have fifty fucking machines hooked up to them!” Andrea says, “She is doing something that she loves, while making dinner every night before she goes to work and is practically running my grandpa’s old business!” She continues, “Exactly” Matteo states, flicking some of the ash from his cigarette into the ashtray. David sitting this argument out because he agrees with them, but doesn’t really have a mom to base his opinion off of except for Laura. But Laura didn’t have a choice, she didn’t get to choose raising David. She wanted too, and she had to otherwise he would be on the fucking streets. 

“Next one, someone posted saying basically being transgender is a mental illness because you’re diagnosed with dysphoria which is categorized under mental illness. This was someone’s response: “Holy cow lmao…… Did you really just erase Indigenous identities that are transgender???? You know there are indingeous trans people who have been around for over 4,000 years, and they didn’t need hrt/surgeries to be deemed as valid, right…? You can be trans and have ZERO gender dysphoria. That exists, you know…” 

“Um, no?” David responds, completely baffled by the words of this person. “You have to have dysphoria to be trans, if you don’t need hormones nor surgery, on top of no dysphoria. You’re just a cis person, I’m a trans male. I was born in a females body, but my fucking brain is male. I have dysphoria, take hormones, and I want top surgery. Because I am a transgender male” He continues, “On me” Andrea says, “How can you be transgender but not be dysphoric, nor have the desire to change your body to match your identity?” Matteo asks, “You can’t, I believe that you have to have diagnosed dysphoria to be transgender” David responds. “Speaking of diagnosed, there are people on tumblr who self-diagnose themselves” Andrea says, the couple not believing a word she’s saying. 

“This is my favorite one, ‘I am proud to be self diagnosed with: schizophrenia, bipolar depression, ADHD, DCD, anxiety, autism, psychosis, dementia, OCD, PTSD, dyslexia, insomnia, BPD. Do not invalidate me. Your hatred of self diagnosers is rooted in ableism, classism, and racism’” Andrea read aloud, Matteo and David in shock. “This shit pisses me the absolute fuck off. I have ADHD, depression, and anxiety. Only difference, I HAD A FUCKING DOCTOR DIAGNOSE ME!” Andrea rants, the boys letting her blow off the steam. 

“Exuse me, person who has their mind stuck in LaLa Land, did you go to a mental institution for five days for self-harm? No, did you start taking meds in fourth grade because you couldn’t focus long enough to even write your name on a piece of fucking paper? No, did you have a panic attack for no reason in the school bathroom? No! Because you aren’t like me! I have medical documents and actual proof that I have fucking issues!” She continues. Matteo making a mental note of her words, having not known what she’s been through. “If you wanna come to me and say ‘I’m so depressed, I just wanna end it all’ I will say, ‘Ha, you fucking thought’ because guess what, until you walk up to me and show me the medical proof that you’re mentally ill, you can’t cry about your fucking problems” Andrea finishes, hitting her boulder and taking a deep breathe. Matteo looking at David, silently asking ‘What do we do?’ David just shrugging in response. 

“How can they have all of that, not be on meds, and still be functioning?” Matteo questions, “They must be magic” She laughs out, “It took my mom so long to get diagnosed with bipolar, she went so long living without the proper care that she needed. The fact that they come on here and blatantly spew facts from their asshole, and then expect us to validate them? It’s fucking stupid” Matteo responds, “I feel by them doing this, the whole self diagnosing shit is so harmful to those who actually struggle on a daily fucking basis with mental illness” David adds, “You’re preaching to the choir, dawg” Andrea comments. Making them laugh at her response. 

They end the podcast, then decide to just chill in what is Andrea’s room for the next month. Having her stay with them for the summer, because her parents want her to experience what it’s like to live in Germany to see if it’s really what she wants. “So, I didn’t know that about you Dea” Matteo says, Andrea nodding her head as she refills her boulder pod. “Ja, I don’t really talk about it. It just came out in the heat of the moment” She tells him, David walking back in the room after finding Matteo’s pack of smokes. 

“Thanks baby” Matteo says, giving David a kiss before the boy sits down next to Andrea on her bed. “I’m glad David met you, Matteo. I haven’t seen him this happy since he put on a binder for the first time” She says, Matteo smiling at her in response. “Thanks, Dea”. “So, you know where to get gas?” She asks, Matteo taken by surprise by her question. “What’s gas?” He asks, making David and Andrea laugh. “It’s what we call weed in America. We call it dank, kush, gas, grass” She explains, Matteo nodding. “I know where to get some” He responds. “Shit, I got money” 

“Babe, you’re not buying my cousin weed” David protests, “David” Andrea whines, “Nein, I won’t allow it!” He responds, “David” Matteo whines, same as Andrea did. “Not tonight, I’ll think about it but not tonight” David says. Matteo looks over at Andrea, “I’ll make him say yes, don’t worry” He promises, making Andrea laugh. “Danke” She smiles. 


End file.
